Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
