I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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