she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
