It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
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Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
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WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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