wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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