I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
