i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My ass is underappreciated
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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