I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
