Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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