the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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