I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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