Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
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