dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
