Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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