uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My dick has a subreddit
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
