hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
it was like eating out sand paper
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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