so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
you had me at cake vodka
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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