I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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