I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
