what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
