I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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