so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
