I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
