if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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