She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
