she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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