this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
