SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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