It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
