No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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