Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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