I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
