Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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