Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
