We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
