There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
