he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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