i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
