I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I love having hate sex.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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