You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
