Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Randomize