We won't sleep together?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I AM VODKA MAN
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
