I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
