We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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