Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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