Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
