I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
