i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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