this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize