You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize