Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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