Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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