Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We're too hungover to prance.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
