it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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