She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
