She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
