Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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