My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
All I want is dick and wine.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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