I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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