omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm like, not good at living.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
