Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
