pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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