just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
His hands were made for my vagina.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
