that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
