Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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