Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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